Siamese Drummers: the stairs I walk

What I fear the most, stares

I keep taking step after step and I see the jesters have arrived

My family is waiting, waiting, watching, waiting

Is that daughter ever to arrive?

A sigh in the rooms flooded with light suggests that there are different times making their way up the courtyard

There are long nails slipping over the keyboard and what I really fear the most are stares

I keep skipping step after step and the jesters arrived I can't but look away,

cheeks red like the mock-cheeks on their white faces

I walk up the stairs, I hang on to the rail

I am up on the roof and the sky is blue with clouds small and white and fearless and cheerful

but this is too high up for me, I have agreed to climb too high up

I lie down, press myself against the gravel

When did I agree, did I agree

There's a sigh in the sunlit beauty of daytime and it is now suggested that agreeing to these heights are not supposed to be taken easily

This is not something to play around with

This is not something to laugh at

I am not the jester

I am not the sister

I am not the man of the house

I am not the man of this house

I am not the maiden, cried

These stairs are not there for my despair

These stairs are not here for my steps

I never

not even once

I didn't think I could turn

The only way is up that way

The only way is against the tide

The only way is those stairs

The jesters have arrived.

Siamese Drummers