a day like this

is a day I haven't met in such a long time, I can't recall that I'd in a time that feels like forever would've...
I sit here so relaxed. I know I've met some in my dreams that explained some things for me, so it's not important I can't remeber what, just that I know it happened.
There are the ones who are right there for me to lean on, and I thank them humbly and perhaps with tears of a tired being.
I've cried in my dreams for two nights now. That is, I've dreamt I've cried. Now that is something I've never done before.

So this morning, I woke up earlyearly and heard that the nightingale still sings in our garden. I love the way he plays with his voice. I've never heard nightingales in the morning before last week.
I continued sleeping, a few hours more and then I'd get up and go to a lecture I was very much looking forward to, there was going to be interesting discussions right away. It was important to be on time, though, since it being saturday the doors to uni are locked and there has to be someone to let you in. So you have to be there on time so the lecturer can let you in before we get started.
So. I finally woke up. Sat up with a deep breath and I knew there was something wrong... yes. I looked at the time and I had exactly 15 minutes to get to the lecture. WHAAT, I got up, felt my stomach growl out of hunger and I knew there was no way I was going to make it
But I was ready to give it a go. Moved fast, ate some fruit while picking my stuff together, I could come back in a few hours at lunch to eat and really wake up... and nothing
seemed
to
work.

My bag was right there, still the papers I needed weren't, I was not stressing, still I wasn't making sense of the situation... why was I not on time!?

So,
now I sit here.
Not on the lecture. The sun is clouded over by greyness, still the light flickers through. On and off. There might be rain later, I might want it to rain but it might not.

I sit here, and know that I'm going exactly in that direction I always wanted to find.



And someone i don't know walks in and smiles to me.
I smile back instantly, warm inside.
If the only thing there is today is smiling, then let it be so.