Did I say

that I'd never tell?
Did I promise myself somewhere along the way that I would not bother others with the being,
with the existence
of myself?
Did I speak words of not wanting to add to all the problems people seem to be having,
by apologizing for any inconvenience my smile or angry eyes or caring might bring?
Did I tell myself that others are awkward because I am not?
Did I tell myself that there's only one other that understands me and that I haven't met that other one yet?
Did I speak out the fact that I have no other fact but myself?
Did I mention that I don't feel I know more than anyone else, just that I know I feel and that
that might be something I haven't taken into consideration?
Did I decide on not showing that I appreciate myself?
Did I decide on caring so much about what people think that I won't think at all
anymore?
Did I decide that I am not worthy of myself,
not worthy the time spent
the voice heard
the laughter spread
the smile illuminating
the strentgh of muscles inside
the mind moving in waves?
Wings spread in the light morning air or blackness of night

Did I say I'd never tell?
Did I ever?
I break my own secret, the one I thought was a code unbreakable
It wasn't so very hard, now was it? Sweetness of release
Relief
I break the promise I made myself and reveal the secret I was keeping for myself
The secret I was keeping myself
from myself.
I say what I think
Just might be that I never say it out loud
Out loud so that ears other than mine understand that something is being said.

Then,
I know there are all of you who don't listen only with your ears.
I know there are all of you who don't listen only to the words.
I know there are all of you who never tell that you know, that you hear, that you understand.

Say ocean,
I am your wave.