It's snowed

It's snowing
It snows
There's snow.
The first snow is here and there is SO much of it.
So I celebrate Samhain in a white world. A world I feel new to; a world that feels new but not unknown.
I have since my last write listened more to Faith No More's The Real Thing
and my recently arrived In Case We Die by Architecture in Helsinki.
and some Opeth
and some Gary Numan, mostly Cars
haa.

I learned today that a friend will be moving into my house soon. I'm thrilled!
Zombiegirls on the prowl for Monkyboys.

Trying to have more ideas about some writing I'm doing right now; trying to put myself into it although I know that it'll take something else than that - the ideas are coming but only when I fully let them by not being prepared at all.
Trying to find some nice lines to think about for the rest of the day but oh I can't.
I only sing
We'll sing and dance and find romance and we'll stroll to the edge of the world

I celebrated the 28th yesterday

a bit of Halloween-feeling; a bit of autumn-changing-into-winter-celebration; a bit of I shall be released; a bit of every celebration of myself and everyone else that I could imagine; a bit of loving the music; a bit of loving the dance; a bit of loving being.
A good celebration all in all. Very. And as it happened, there was a change to wintertime and the place I was in stayed open an extra hour. Indeed it made me smile and there is a smile on the inside, there definitely is.

And I know that I was seven when this album came out, I have known one or two songs of this album since and I danced to one of them last week in a recordstore in York. Didn't know it was this album though, as it was just one of the records the musiclibrary gave to me yesterday.
At home it came clear, and after listening thru the record, I realised I had skipped one of the tracks, put it on
and sat there in the candlelit kitchen listening, feeling lights go out and lights flicker and that flame come to life again.
17 years have passed from that song being made to it making it to my hearing.
Now it is in my hearing and I have heard it, felt it and it is.

I know the feeling
It is the real thing
The essence of the truth
The perfect moment
That golden moment
I know you feel it too

Faith No More The real thing


I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east.
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be released.

Bob Dylan I shall be released


Thank you

so I was meant to found

clap your hands say yeah

architecture in helsinki

sing sing sing sing

yeahs, I am now in the state of mind called my hometown, after two weeks in the states of mind called Scotland and England. Glasgow and York spoke to me and we talked a while, it was very pleasant and the feeling was mutual. I joined groups of understanding and revealed understanding in myself;
Vince Noir inspires me in so much it's only possible to laugh
And since I've been gone autumn has stretched out and there's this cosy light all day and everywhere and I don't know what to do more than go ungder as many yellow trees as possible
and I'm aware of the fact
that I have facts and that's about that

I have not got forever left in this town, and my wings are happily stretching
and I'm happily trying things out
and I can discuss
I talk
I walk
I speak in languages and show my tongue.
hah.

blood confetti

I am the wave I've been waiting for

Where do I turn?
How do I explain and why do I always have to?
.

Would you like to be my social experiment?

Eksperyment
Absynthminded

I try not to cower away from the feelings I am told I cower at
I try not to think what it is I question
I try not to question constantly
I try not to
and I try to keep in mind
I try to keep my mind
I try to keep it in mind
to keep in mind
That there is reason, there is and we are
and I am,
I am.

And listening to what Gojira speaks makes me realise even more
I have no reason to scout the streets
I have no reason to scan the faces
I have no reason not to go
I have no reason not to


All the stars Fearlessly bright They call me out there Order me to face the wind
[GOJIRA: Backbone]

Beat your feet On the ground now, go !


Global warming by Gojira started playing in my earphones and I thought it was someone's phone ringing and I thought what a sad and beautiful tone, just like an alarm telling of something that is soon to happen and
why isn't anyone answering that call
and so I realised that it was the music I was listening to.

And as a warrior I have to fight
I can already feel
The love I’ll discover

I've heard eagles

I've seen the sun
and Aquarius is following me around. So is 58 and the big love I'm supposedly experiencing.
What is this mixture?
Well, I'm training myself into becoming strongly psychobilly;
my hair was the first to learn but I'm a long ways to go. Got just the patterns and fabrics I'll make dresses out of in a few weeks when I can afford it.
I'm training my attitude too.
And lipstick should be included in training, I know... the favourite one I smudged cos I had to write
Under Saturn's shadow YL
on a wall in the city's nightlife.
Hee, well done me.
I'm just doing things and looking at skies and adoring colours and adoring that and this and
laughed yesterday at Happy Noodle Boy going "My eyes, I can't see my eyes!!"
And thought "Myself, I can't see myself!!" and felt a bit bluuuue.
I saw some friends of someone I haven't seen for a long time and thought:
Maybe I'm supposed to globalise and really do so since there seems to be a hint of that relationshipwise.
Maybe may be.
I can't help loving TypeONegative's Cinnamon Girl
when the first notes hit my consciousness I just
SHAKE
just the feeling that also accompanies Ministry's Lay lady Lay.
These covers hit the note.
Me and Lena laughed a plenty watching DEAD MAN in the movies last night, the other four members of the audience were very quiet.
What a story.

there's LOVE

since I last was here

I have danced
danced
and sung and played

and playing along and playing alone are not things to fear
You do it when you do and don't when you don't
So many things that have questioned me and so many things I have questioned
these past few weeks
and since I'm back in the waiting-room, I was let out for a while for fresh air, I fear I won't know and don't know where to turn, what to focus on and where to be and what to be
and who to be
A lady biked in front of me today with a bag saying CHANGE
TypeONegative's I don't wanna be me starts playing on radioblogclub
and I feel aggressive in a good and walk-over-everyone mood and I don't like it.
Yeah, I know I comment it's good not knowing everything
but now I sit here and it feels like my feet aren't touching the floor even though I know they are
and I can't sleep anymore, not in my bed at least or at least not any smart way around.
I turn and sleep upside down and halfway onto the floor or wall
AND suddenly
There is a Light that never goes out
doesn't work on my playlist anymore
and what the hell
what the hell
what the I know exactly.
I know why what and now I'm really starting to know
when
and where I turn is where I turn,
of course there is a wish for real arms to hold me steady on this line. I've tried this road and I've tried it and tried it and i should've known
This is where I'm going.

Draw upon me, don't use chalk, don't use permanent marker
Draw upon me, I render
I render to the beat
I render tones
I render a beat
Draw upon me
Draw upon me with eager mind
Draw upon me
II