for today, whenever

the stairs I walk

What I fear the most, stares

I keep taking step after step and I see the jesters have arrived

My family is waiting, waiting, watching, waiting

Is that daughter ever to arrive?

A sigh in the rooms flooded with light suggests that there are different times making their way up the courtyard

There are long nails slipping over the keyboard and what I really fear the most are stares

I keep skipping step after step and the jesters arrived I can't but look away,

cheeks red like the mock-cheeks on their white faces

I walk up the stairs, I hang on to the rail

I am up on the roof and the sky is blue with clouds small and white and fearless and cheerful

but this is too high up for me, I have agreed to climb too high up

I lie down, press myself against the gravel

When did I agree, did I agree

There's a sigh in the sunlit beauty of daytime and it is now suggested that agreeing to these heights are not supposed to be taken easily

This is not something to play around with

This is not something to laugh at

I am not the jester

I am not the sister

I am not the man of the house

I am not the man of this house

I am not the maiden, cried

These stairs are not there for my despair

These stairs are not here for my steps

I never

not even once

I didn't think I could turn

The only way is up that way

The only way is against the tide

The only way is those stairs

The jesters have arrived.

.

.

.

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wPK4GytLk&feature=related

.

the emerald green

reflected in my eyes does not tell stories.

the grey stripes

of a cat black and white does not tell lies.

the hunger

growling deep down does not keep quiet.

the sleep

crawling up close behind does not ask permission.

the voice

I know is not a fairytale sings silently the words I need

the voice

I know is not a fairytale makes sure to pronounce so I understand

the voice

I know is not a fairytale makes me sing without asking

I sing to you

as you sing to me

I sing for you

as you sing for me

My feet feel like walking

My hands feel like playing

My voice feels like whispering

The voice I know is not a fairytale,

tell me more

universes together

I look forward to seeing the sun
I look forward to seeing what all I'll become

I look forward to looking in to the sun,
even further
even closer

I look forward to all I'll become
I look forward to seeing what all I've done


I see wings of a butterfly right in front of my eyes
golden lines
and yellow light


I look forward into the sun

I look forward to seeing the sun
shine further through me
I look forward to shining a sun

I look forward to see what all I'll become

I look forward into the sun

If westward is where you are, it's not west, is it

I’m reading so much about myself, is this really me?

All my associates they all seem to be 2-D

I use other people

I only take them for what I need

Looking at this broken image,

I doubt I’ll ever see

All my wishes be true

since all my associates really all seem to be 2-D

my hands now shaken, coffee bitter and cold

my thoughts now deepen, I should learn and let go

Looking now, looking now

My chart is telling me I’m the trouble all are to face

My charms keep telling you I’m all right, I’m the best

It’s said all I have to do is ask

and all I need will arrive

How can I ask,

when I can’t tell the difference between humility and pride,

selfishness and real light

If I go to the east, I’ll lock myself inside

I look around in consent

I refuse to cry, be this pain or despair

And all this my asking if I’m allowed,

is it just a step towards an ending far from the rest?

Here as I’m told all I understand means nothing for another

I can’t help but think that there must be another

But here as I’m told

I use other people

I only take them for what I need

Looking at this broken image,

I doubt I’ll ever see

All my wishes be true

still all my associates really all seem to be 2-D

created by another mind

the mind out of reach, all I have is what’s left behind

images

images

so all my associates really all seem to be 2-D