Luara is speechless

and there's someone who says my speech is impossible to understand
due to all the languages that spew out at once.

I am speechless

words exit my body and mind only in written form.


I went to bed at 6 this morning
after sitting on the sofa next to someone who talked movies
and who listened to me talk movies
films
and lost highways; sandworms; coffee; cigarettes and blood was in our talk.
And I have no idea of where to next, although as I see that written I do know that I know where to next. Exactly to where it would be in any other situation.

Do the whirlwind and see ya around warrior.

Our year has changed into november

There's more snow after last nights rain and despair and anger over feet so cold of wet I wasn't sure they would ever feel again.
There's more chill today and even though the world is white and it's not even 3pm yet, it's getting dark. I can see it and I can feel it.

Had forgotten all about how it is to live in winter: that is that it is not different from anything else in any way at all.
Neil Young's Dead Man in my earphones makes me feel something I don't know.

So now I could say it's new year, yeah?
I could have energy and interest to finish everything that I haven't finished, yeah?
I should do something about my quarters; I should think without writing and write without pausing to complete the works I should complete;
I should be courageous enough to contact this one person who I seem to be mentally entwined with - just an observation of his stressed face when I felt stressed;
I should have time to look at what I dream, not just get up, get dressed and run around;
I should have time to contemplate stories;
I should have to grab myself the life that I know is just right here
It feels like something was taken from me, something was stolen
since the autumn ended abruptly without me having time to enjoy the sweaters and chilly evenings and stargazings in a garden smelling sweetly of old leaves and apples,
in a world where everything is soft colours and clear skies and
rain.
There's only cold icy disappeared world.
There's more under the surface but I don't feel like I have the energy to look so deep
to dig further.

Let's see where this takes me.

It's snowed

It's snowing
It snows
There's snow.
The first snow is here and there is SO much of it.
So I celebrate Samhain in a white world. A world I feel new to; a world that feels new but not unknown.
I have since my last write listened more to Faith No More's The Real Thing
and my recently arrived In Case We Die by Architecture in Helsinki.
and some Opeth
and some Gary Numan, mostly Cars
haa.

I learned today that a friend will be moving into my house soon. I'm thrilled!
Zombiegirls on the prowl for Monkyboys.

Trying to have more ideas about some writing I'm doing right now; trying to put myself into it although I know that it'll take something else than that - the ideas are coming but only when I fully let them by not being prepared at all.
Trying to find some nice lines to think about for the rest of the day but oh I can't.
I only sing
We'll sing and dance and find romance and we'll stroll to the edge of the world

I celebrated the 28th yesterday

a bit of Halloween-feeling; a bit of autumn-changing-into-winter-celebration; a bit of I shall be released; a bit of every celebration of myself and everyone else that I could imagine; a bit of loving the music; a bit of loving the dance; a bit of loving being.
A good celebration all in all. Very. And as it happened, there was a change to wintertime and the place I was in stayed open an extra hour. Indeed it made me smile and there is a smile on the inside, there definitely is.

And I know that I was seven when this album came out, I have known one or two songs of this album since and I danced to one of them last week in a recordstore in York. Didn't know it was this album though, as it was just one of the records the musiclibrary gave to me yesterday.
At home it came clear, and after listening thru the record, I realised I had skipped one of the tracks, put it on
and sat there in the candlelit kitchen listening, feeling lights go out and lights flicker and that flame come to life again.
17 years have passed from that song being made to it making it to my hearing.
Now it is in my hearing and I have heard it, felt it and it is.

I know the feeling
It is the real thing
The essence of the truth
The perfect moment
That golden moment
I know you feel it too

Faith No More The real thing


I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east.
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be released.

Bob Dylan I shall be released


Thank you

so I was meant to found

clap your hands say yeah

architecture in helsinki