There is a light that never goes out

and I guess I know what it is in my case.
The light consisting of music and friendship and realisation and respect and connection and contact.
I'm back home in town and I simply do not know what to do with myself, again. It's been like this all summer and now it continues, just as I remember to think about it.
I put in some new music, the technical one w matt sharp and damon albarn is great entertainment. As was the captain I saw on screen today.
I enjoyed the sea, the ocean, the breeze
I can smell the salt and it feels like I've been out to sea in great ships myself today, I breathe like that somehow. it feels good.

I'm so sorry, please forgive me
Who do I pray to to straighten out this problem?
Straighten out this problem, straighten out my mind.
Straighten out this crooked tongue...
My mind has wandered, from the straight and narrow.
My mind has wandered from the flock you see.
My mind has wandered, the man just said so.
My mind has wandered, I heard it on TV.
And the flock has wandered away from me.
INSANITY by OINGO BOINGO


Stay brave

no rain no rain, no rain

Had an email from Laura today, it made my heart feel squeezed.
You can find Laura in my links, I stumbled over Laura yesterday, by all these coincidences, you know how it is, hopefully.
Laura was very glad that I found Laura so thrilling and ass-kicking. Cos kick my ass Laura did. Not just in one case but in many. And Every Light shines.

And funny funny funny funny that it's Laura that makes what I've been wanting to hear.

And Jeff Buckley's Song To No One I heard today, too. And I'm not saying that my belly didn't feel strange when I realised that the chorus and song is sung for
Laura.

I'm eager to get home to Eddie and start adding up my music, I'll see Eddie this weekend and yes, a mic I'll have to purchase.

Lots of my love comes your way

another five day week

another five days of gregorian time
another workingtime has come to an
end
a halt

Now it's friday we say
finally weekend it's said
Finally, I hear

Well, for me this makes not much difference. I still think about how to get things and sort things and figure things out
and how and why
and I'm in some sort of oblivion
but I'm liking it in a way, feeling like a real thing is happening
The silence before the scream
The darkness before the dream
The smile before the laughter

No one else needs to know this,
but I am on my way.
Most definitely.



YYYYY
YYYY
YYY
YY
Y

and i hear that the radio plays
heavy metal machine
and thank you, I shall be

And reading King Rat by China Miéville I have found understanding of how to continue my musicmaking, indeed also by listening to the awesome singstress of Zubs last nite at Tavastia.
"Hey! Sister!" he shouted when seeing me. And indeed, sister I am.
Brother of cosmos
and sister of universe.

Welcome, my dearest in existence and thank you for being beings.

It is the year of the Red Magnetic Moon:
Shine your own light

C.R.A.Z.Y.

is a very wonderful movie. I just saw it with mam and there were so many laughs and smiles and tears and understanding.
Just everything being fucking messed up and then not really. One of them movies that I've seen and felt leave warmth in my chest, strong light and clarity.
Marvel I do.

I'm almost there

I'm almost there to realise that I have to do some things
some things I might not feel like doing, but
but

I'm almost there
at least I'm here

Have some more cardamom in your hot drink
Have some more cucumber on your sandwich

Have some more faith in everything you're told
Have some belief in what is said to be important

Wake up feeling cold
Wake up shaking
Wake up too tired to be
Wake up
Wake up

Wake up